Leanne

Australia


Diagnosed with Parkinson's
and Multiple Sclerosis

Self-Esteem
by Leanne

Nobody can ever make you feel inferior without your consent
Always believing that self-esteem is what it takes to stay content

As we grow there is time to make many changes along the way
Trying our best to choose the right path and to have our say

Teaching others that beauty is good and should come from within
And never be deluded into thinking otherwise which would be such a sin

Whether you suffer from illness, whether you suffer with pain
Look beyond the despair and you’ll find there are many the same

Walk with them and be proud of who you are and what you can achieve
Gathering others along the way with no regrets with what you leave 

When you’ve reached the colourful rainbow that shines with a beam
Life should be happier now because you’ve found your self-esteem

Painting on Glass

October, 2007

MY STORY

At about the age of thirty-three I noticed I had difficulty with my left leg and my left hand - I didn't dwell on it but quite a few months later other things started to happen. It was then I decided to seek help.

I had 12 months of vitamin B injections along with acupuncture - there was no name for this treatment - and besides that, it wasn't helping.  So I went looking elsewhere

"We can't find anything wrong with you" they said.  I began to think they were right and questioned my sanity numerous times - but continued to seek an answer.

Next there was a brain scan and blood tests.  I was even told I had a shorter leg and had my shoe built up.  It didn't help.  Again, I went elsewhere.

A physiotherapist told me to swim to build up my muscles.  I persisted with that for two months but found that my legs wouldn't coordinate.  I went elsewhere again. 

Then I was diagnosed with the shakes and scoliosis but still no medication.  I continued to seek help.  There was the pain that came with it but still no diagnosis.

I felt tired, unbalanced and limped because my leg was dragging.  The only way I could make my walking more manageable was not to focus on it.  "Why?" I thought.  "I must be going crazy!”

My best times were in the morning but by midday, I just sort of ran out of petrol.  I always had to sit down and rest.  Scrubbing Pots or cleaning my teeth went unfinished because I would stop halfway.  I continued asking why – I tried hard to hide my symptoms because I couldn’t understand any of this and didn’t expect anyone else to. I still played tennis through sheer determination. 

Then a chiropractor told me I had scoliosis and had suffered a stroke.  What a relief!  I could possibly get over this with his therapy.  After about 10 months of it I wasn’t so convinced because there was no improvement.

I continued to seek help – there were many quiet tears, just as there were many doctors and specialists and even a psychologist.  Fear was taking over by this time so nerve pills and sleeping pills had to get me through the bad days.  My walking was becoming clumsy and I was very conscious of it so I avoided long distances.  Things just weren’t the same anymore because I felt different and was getting worse.   At times I felt I could have done with a walking stick and sometimes was staggering to get to a chair.  I had to keep going, there were things I had to do but I began to lose my confidence.  Is it any wonder?

Finally after three years of this anguish, Dr. O’Sullivan told me I could possibly have Parkinson’s disease.  My first reaction was one of relief – but then devastation.  I held back the tears and told him that it couldn’t be so because I was only thirty-seven.  A trip to hospital for tests to eliminate other possibilities would show this could be Parkinson’s.  Finally, I was getting attention.

I had various tests and would you believe others in the same ward felt sorry for me because I might have Parkinson’s disease.  I couldn’t comprehend their concern for me.  Today, I understand that concern. 

The doctors still weren’t sure so after I returned with my family from a snow trip which I found extremely exhausting, I rang my specialist telling him I was quite desperate for an answer.  He then sent me a prescription for Sinemet.

Well, those pills changed my life.  Gradually my confidence returned and I felt so much happier because my symptoms were under control. 

One year later I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.  I was 38 and a mother of three children.  I knew I was a strong-minded person and this was a real test.  I wanted to stay strong for my kids especially as at that time they were too young to understand.  I kept most of my feeling inside; I was never one to complain.

Fortunately, a hysterectomy was successful to cure my cancer.

I worked for Parkinson’s NSW Inc. as a volunteer for over ten years and have listened to many people with Parkinson’s and helped them the best way I could.

I also learned so much more about myself.  I’m 54 now and have been newly diagnosed with a genetic form of Parkinson’s called PARKIN GENE and after many MRIs on my brain over the years and last year losing feeling from the waist down for two weeks – I also was diagnosed with probable multiple sclerosis.

I believe everything happens for a reason – and before joy – you must know sorrow.  I am proud of myself and the things I have achieved and I wish to stay positive and learn more about my double handicap because I feel that knowledge is the best antidote for fear.

My hobbies include painting on glass, poetry writing, knitting. I have been married for 32 years. My family is very important to me cause most of all I love being a mum.

Click Here to see photos from the wedding of Leanne's son!