It's Just A Flutter (revised 4/18/04) Late in 2001, it began to annoy me; it's just a flutter I told myself; . . . . just my nerves . . . . it's nothing to worry about . . . . it'll go away. It's nothing, remember . . . ignore it . . . . it has to go away. . . .I'm busy! But it didn't go away, and as the spring of 2002 began to burst with new life, it had become more persistent, progressing from a flutter in my pinkie, to a jumpy thumb, and a right foot that wouldn't stay still when it wasn't 'planted'. (There were other symptoms that I didn't realize at the time.) What's going on? I have to do something about it . . . . . . But what if . . . . . . . Hey, wait a minute! I'm the healthy one, I almost never get sick, there can't be anything wrong with me! There's too much I still want to do . My closest friend, who lives in Alaska, had been trying to encourage me for weeks to get to a doctor and find out what was going on. I guess I just didn't want to hear the words - Parkinson's Disease. Finally in early April, I found the motivation I needed; I read an article in a leading magazine about a prominent actor. While asleep in his room, a 'butterfly kept brushing his cheek'; but when he awoke, he realized it was in fact his left pinkie fluttering. He, too, experienced the classic emotions and symptoms of this dastardly disease. I thought, Oh, My, Word! That article . . . . those symptoms . . . . they sounded too familiar. I had to tell my husband.. . . . I had to call the doctor . . . . I had to make myself go. . . . . I had to know. . . . Having acquaintances who had been diagnosed with it, I 'd seen enough to suspect the diagnosis. I hoped against hope I would be wrong. . . . . . I was too young. I was only turning 50 that summer. Old people get it, not someone my age. My GP examined me and asked a series of questions. He was concerned enough to send me to a neurologist. Hey, . . . . this is serious stuff. Sick people go to neurologists. June 14, 2002 was a day that will forever be embedded in my memory, a day that changed my life and my outlook on life. Following a battery of tests that reminded me of the sobriety tests I've seen through the media, the neurologist took a deep breath; with a gentle voice, and compassion in his eyes, he made his diagnosis. I had been diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's Disease. He wanted me to have more tests, to rule out a brain tumor or several other possibilities. I quietly wept . . . . . I was numb . . . . Not me . . . . it can't be me! Within a few minutes, I resigned myself to the fact that he was the professional. I asked several questions about the illness, my prognosis, and my potential quality of life. The doctor gave me some pills to take and assured me there were new treatments all the time. I could hope for a few good years. He added that stress and anxiety would become my enemy. As we left the hospital, I looked at my hubby of 31 years and told him I wouldn't make him stay. Without hesitation, he assured me we were in this together. What a guy! When I met with the neurologist a few weeks later and he assured me there was no tumor or problems with circulation. That was the good news. . . . . . . As the weeks turned into months, I began to search the Internet for anything I could find that would help me understand this illness. One afternoon, I 'happened upon' a forum containing a note and an e-mail address of a lady in the UK. She had recently been diagnosed and was searching as well. Responding to her message opened a new world for me; I have been so blessed by the friends I have met. She introduced me to MyParkinsons where I found other PLWPs (People Living With Parkinsons) who actually understood my symptoms and the limitations and emotions that came along with them. The spring of 2003, I joined an on-line research group sponsored by a university on the West Coast and met more caring and compassionate people. The past several months have been a learning and a growing experience for our family. From the stages of grief over the loss of 'good health' and the future we had planned, to feeling the aloneness that is part of this visitor come to stay. My hubby and I have grown closer and place a higher value on life. Like many other PD families, we have had to face some challenges; and like them, we have realized that 'it is someday', and we are doing more things that we intended to do someday - we're gonna make it! If not for PD, I know life would be a whole lot different, but I never would have met so many great people. Just Cruisin' Along  Gail and I recently returned from a 7-day cruise to the Western Caribbean. Traveling for 11 days with PD was a new experience for us. (We tried to pace ourselves and took breaks as often as we could.) We are thankful that so many were praying for us. Read about our "Trip of Firsts" | 
